Dear God,
I'm sorry for all the sin that I've committed lately.
It's not even about the sin. I'm sorry that my sins have kept us apart.
Honestly, I miss you and I love you, even if my actions don't show it.
I really do miss you and love you.
But lately, I've been placed in this situations where I feel trapped.
I don't want to hurt the other people so I hurt myself instead.
I allow other people to walk over me and I can't deal with it, so I just smoke away my troubles.
I know and I realize that other people's sins (even if they affect me) do not justify me sinning but I'm not ready yet.
Life is just too much.
I don't want to hurt other people and bring them down but in doing so, I'm bringing myself and my family.
I've decided, for now, I'm going to do my own thing.
I promise to still care and love for other people but at the same time, I'm going to be far from you.
It's not because I don't love you anymore. I still do.
It's just hard on me right now.
I feel like if I live in my own world, then I could be the hero and that will keep me going temporarily.
I know that it's wrong but for right now, give me time and safety.
I promise I'll come back. I promise.
Yours Truly,
GhanDEEP
1 comment:
mm...i've counted a lot more i's than you's. I don't know what's going on in your life, but reading this i would ask of you to reconsider. God doesn't care about any works you do and you can't love both God and something else on equal terms. Jesus talked about suffering as christians, not paradise in our mortal lives.
"I feel like if I live in my own world, then I could be the hero and that will keep me going temporarily. " is that what you want more than God? Like I said before, I don't know what you are going through, but I would like you to reconsider who God is. He isn't just some lover, He is Lord and Savior. You are His wife and He is your husband. Instead of smoking away your troubles, pray to God about it, cast your burdens unto Him for He awaits your return. "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." psalms 55:22. You are in my prayers.
God bless
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