Update

It's been a while since I've updated this blog, and I wanted to share the things that have happened recently.

The other day, I found out that Ywam rejected me. At first, I didn't really know how to react because I never expected rejection. I thought my entrance would have been guaranteed. To be completely honest, it was hard to go throughout the day without tearing up or crying because Hawaii meant so much to me. Hawaii was the place for me to start over and to re-establish a firm foundation with God. I had a huge desire to attend and hopefully, come back to once again a changed man. It's hard for me to understand why this happened. I'll admit that I didn't prepare my heart at all but my desires were genuine and honest. Simply, I wanted to go to seek and further my walk with God, so why did I get rejected? Even in these times of confusion, I realized a couple things:

1. Everything happens for a reason.
For me, this is one of my laws of life because I have witnessed and experienced too many "coincidences" to say that everything doesn't happen for a reason. Just because I don't know the reason doesn't mean there isn't one.

2. Don't ever take anything for granted.
I always thought that Hawaii was just going to be there for me. I thought that God would just give it to me but as you can see that's not the case. So many times in life, it's so easy to complain and to point out the things that aren't falling your way but I think it's important to really appreciate the things you have in life. I could continue to cry and to whine about the fact that I got rejected but when I really look at my life, I can't help but to say that I'm blessed.

3. Learn to man-up.
Since my last entry, I've always felt like a victim to the harsh worldly ways. I always felt like every situation I was placed in, I got the shorter end of the stick. To be honest, I still think that I did receive the shorter end but now I realize that it doesn't matter. Life will punch you in the face and you will get fucked over but victimizing yourself won't change anything. You have to suck-it up and deal with it. Life goes on.

4. Have faith in God.
Even in these times of confusion, I can say that God does have a plan for me and he knows whats best for me because "this I know-I know nothing." The fact that I know nothing reminds me why I have a God that knows everything.

As I write this blog, I know I'm going to fall again and that times are going to be rough but that's okay. At least, I'm on the right path again.