Monday, March 1, 2010

Update.

Last week was a hard week for me. I fell into a lot of sin and what made it worse was the discouragement that came my way. In fact one of my friends actually got angry at me and another said, “Eric, you’re always on that quit tip.” (Referring to smoking weed) I don’t judge them for judging me but honestly, it didn’t feel good. Yet at the same time, how they reacted still spoke truth in my life and through that I realized something.

Yes, God’s love does allow me to stand in my own filth and hypocrisy and praise him, which I am so thankful for. But at the same time, does that justify sin? No.

I realized that I stretched the line of grace too far. In a place where I felt so loved and so comfortable even in my own filth, I manipulated grace. Because he doesn’t judge, I tricked myself into thinking that sin is ok. But Sunday night, someone told me, “Sin is the very thing your father died for.”

I’m not saying that you have to perfect and sinless to be with lord (no one can) but I think personally for me in my walk, I’m at a level of spirituality and experience where I need to give up these things. I’m also not saying that I’m going to be perfect. Who knows, I may even fall tomorrow or next day but just know that whatever happens, I’m always going to fight.

And finally, just know this: I know a lot of people look at me and see hypocrisy and “bullshit”. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not perfect and I am a hypocrite. I still stand in my own filth and hypocrisy, with high arms praising the lord because his love allows me too. Yes, I still sin and yes, I still love the lord. Honestly, people can judge me all they want but someone wise told me, “You know you’re doing your thing when you got haters.” I don’t mind the judgment that comes my way. I understand. Honestly, if I was an outsider looking in, I’d probably do the same thing. My life is filled with a lot of hypocrisy and bullshit but instead of judging my every move, how about you take that time and search for God yourself? (I promise it will be worth it.)

Ps: Life is awesome. Today, I was reflecting on my life and I wanted to cry. I am so blessed to live to where I live, to have the things that I have, and to be loved the way that I am loved. All glory to the lord :]

Love All,

GhanDEEP

3 comments:

Gina Yu said...

amen eric.

haha i just listened to "hate on me" by jill scott (or the glee version)... it relates to this so much

Christina said...

So I've come by this blog a couple times and I jsut want to say all your entries are really encouraging. Keep it up (:

Anonymous said...

hey, i know i dont know you that well but through your blogs you really do encourage!

its good to see that you are thirsty for God and letting God beable to use you for his Glory

God bless, man!