Positively Connotated

“The past is the past, move on, forget it, and live in the present.” We’ve all heard it or something similar to it. But is the past only just “the past”? Does “the past” play no other role in the present? It is something to forget?

For many of us, especially in the Christian community, we continuously dwell on the sins of our past, hindering us from accepting God’s love and questioning; “Why me, God?”, “Why do you still love someone sinful like me?”, “Have you not seen the things I have done?” Unfortunately, no matter how many times we try to escape God’s love, it will always surround us, it will always cover us, and it will always suffocate us. It is inescapable. So we should forget the past and move on right? I disagree.

As humans, God has created each and every one of us to be unique- giving us all different physical qualities as well different personality traits. But in a way, the fact of being human makes us all the same. Just as your mother, as your friend, or even as a random stranger possesses fears and insecurities, you also possess them. But where do these fears and insecurities generate from? It’s defiantly not related to genetics. As we come out of our mother’s womb, we do not grow an instant fear of failure. Our fears and insecurities, develop from something else, something common to most humans (unfortunately there are babies who don’t make it), otherwise known as our pasts.

Whether it’d be simple events like your brother constantly telling you to shut up or a more serious issue like bullying, the past develops our fears and insecurities. If this is so, we should just forget and move on but I’m sorry to say that’s impossible. No matter how hard we try to forget, the past remains like a scar; it stays forever, reminding you of all the pain. So what do we do?

Instead of trying to do the impossible, we work with possible. We remember all of the pain and the suffering and allow that to affect us in a positive way.

For example, all of my life I have had this fear of failure and all these insecurities. Looking back on my childhood and my past, my parents are to blame (I’m sorry mom and dad but I still love you). Don’t get me wrong, my parents have done great things for me but honesty must be said. Nonetheless, my parents’ constant nagging about absolutely everything ranging from grades, to weight, to my messiness, and to even my hair, has made me afraid to fail and developed so many insecurities. The fear has lead me to where I am today; failing two classes. My insecurities have leaded me to losing friendships, and gaining a relationship with Satan-nothing appealing. How can I turn this negative to positive?

It’s easy. Instead of trying to forget, I remember- remember the pain, the hurt, the regret. Then I use that memory to never treat anyone the same way my parents have treated me, use that memory to never make anyone feel insecure, and finally use that memory to help those who have/are in the same shoes as I.

When people use the word past, they use it with a negative connotation. Let’s change that around. Whether you pasts consists of degrading parents like me, or being bullied, or even being laughed, allow it to affect your present in a positive way so that your current present becomes a positively connotated (made up word) past.

PS: My parents are not bad people. I love them with all my heart! They are just... typical Asian parents aha.

Love All,

GhanDEEP