Through a series of blessed events, I partook in my first “homeless outreach”. As we were walking to the park where the homeless stayed, I realized that I had no idea of what to do, or how to even approach a homeless person. After all, it was my first time. But I did know one thing-I knew God wanted to bless me.
As we awkwardly approached a group of three to four homeless people sitting on a bench, we offered them sandwiches and bottled waters. The moment I looked into their eyes, I could sense an unbearable pain. It seemed as if, they wanted to cry. This alone broke my heart and I began to tear up. Eventually we sat down next to them and just talked. Honestly, I was still very awkward and shy so I just listened but something stood out to me. One man seemed to be resting his bare feet on his boots. It was weird because how many times in public do we see someone resting their bare feet? I was so curious and shocked that I had to ask him.
And it went something like this:
(He was the quiet one but suddenly he said something to me but I didn’t understand because I was zoned out on his feet so I just smiled and nodded)
“Yeah, sorry but I didn’t catch your name before. What’s your name again?”
“Odus”
“Oh, my name is Eric.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“You too. This may seem really random and weird but I realized that you were resting your feet on your boots. Why were you doing that?”
“Oh, I’ve been wearing this tims for the past two days and my feet hurt.”
At first nothing hit me, but then I realized this man didn’t take of his shoes for two days because he didn’t have a sanitary place where he can walk bare foot. So many times in life, we complain about the smallest things and yes, they are uncomfortable but here’s a man who doesn’t even have a place to rest his feet. Little things like that never cross our minds because we are truly blessed.
Overall, this was a great experience but the funniest thing is that we call it an “outreach” and expect that we will help them but in reality, they are blessing us. They are the heroes of the world.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Roller Coasters
For many of us, we struggle with riding that spiritual “roller coaster”. We believe that it’s “bad” because of the spiritual inconsistency. But what if this “roller coaster” was a blessing from God? What if this “roller coaster” was actually a “good” thing?
So many times, we focus on the highs and the lows, the ups and the downs, and the inconsistency, that it leads us further away from God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that inconsistency is a good thing but I believe that the enemy has cleverly twisted this concept. After encountering God, our hearts desire to please our father, yet so many times, our actions don’t reflect our true intentions. We repent and start over, through God’s mercy. But soon enough we began grow sick of the guilt and condemnation found in inconsistency and because of that, we choose the dark path. Kudos to Satin for such a clever scheme but brothers and sisters, know that guilt and condemnation come from the enemy. God desires to love and only to love and in love, there is no condemnation.
These trials and tribulations we go through are here for our growth, but the enemy has seized this opportunity to attack us. They lie to us. The moment we fall over and over again, they feed us the guilt and that ultimately hinders our growth.
But I began to wonder; “If these trials are here for our growth, then why do we constantly fall over and over again?”
For the longest time, I struggled with not wanting to fall. My heart longed so much to do everything right for God but as time passed by, the more and more I fell. But one day I saw this video. It talked about how Jesus, himself, went through 30 plus years of training and all the other great prophets also endured 30 plus years of training. So what makes me think that I can walk this walk for 4 months and be transformed? God cares more about the journey. He wants to teach you and show you the way, rather than snapping his finger and changing you into a super prophet. All good things come with perseverance and patience.
But then I asked, “How does falling over and over again help me grow?”
Each time I fell, I realized that God taught me a certain lesson. Whether it was learning to run to God or rebuking me for seeking my own glory, each fall had a purpose. But now that I look back and analyze my falls, I realize that there is something common in each of them. With every failure, God never failed to reveal his everlasting love for me. Now imagine a roller coaster. Before you can fall down the steep slope, the chains must pull you up and notice that you cannot pull yourself up but you must rely on the chains. God is similar. He pulls you up to a high point and lets you fall so that when you lose momentum, he will pull you up again. He doesn’t focus on the fact that you lost momentum because he is too eager to pull you back up again. God wants you to rely on him. That is love.
In parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11-24), the younger son foolishly spends his share of the estate in wild living. Soon enough, he becomes broke and desperate. He surrenders all pride and runs to his father to find that his father has been waiting all along. If he had never fallen, then he would have never ran to his father and he would have never realized the love his father has for him.
The truth is simple, God loves you,and don’t let the enemy take that away from you.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
So many times, we focus on the highs and the lows, the ups and the downs, and the inconsistency, that it leads us further away from God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that inconsistency is a good thing but I believe that the enemy has cleverly twisted this concept. After encountering God, our hearts desire to please our father, yet so many times, our actions don’t reflect our true intentions. We repent and start over, through God’s mercy. But soon enough we began grow sick of the guilt and condemnation found in inconsistency and because of that, we choose the dark path. Kudos to Satin for such a clever scheme but brothers and sisters, know that guilt and condemnation come from the enemy. God desires to love and only to love and in love, there is no condemnation.
These trials and tribulations we go through are here for our growth, but the enemy has seized this opportunity to attack us. They lie to us. The moment we fall over and over again, they feed us the guilt and that ultimately hinders our growth.
But I began to wonder; “If these trials are here for our growth, then why do we constantly fall over and over again?”
For the longest time, I struggled with not wanting to fall. My heart longed so much to do everything right for God but as time passed by, the more and more I fell. But one day I saw this video. It talked about how Jesus, himself, went through 30 plus years of training and all the other great prophets also endured 30 plus years of training. So what makes me think that I can walk this walk for 4 months and be transformed? God cares more about the journey. He wants to teach you and show you the way, rather than snapping his finger and changing you into a super prophet. All good things come with perseverance and patience.
But then I asked, “How does falling over and over again help me grow?”
Each time I fell, I realized that God taught me a certain lesson. Whether it was learning to run to God or rebuking me for seeking my own glory, each fall had a purpose. But now that I look back and analyze my falls, I realize that there is something common in each of them. With every failure, God never failed to reveal his everlasting love for me. Now imagine a roller coaster. Before you can fall down the steep slope, the chains must pull you up and notice that you cannot pull yourself up but you must rely on the chains. God is similar. He pulls you up to a high point and lets you fall so that when you lose momentum, he will pull you up again. He doesn’t focus on the fact that you lost momentum because he is too eager to pull you back up again. God wants you to rely on him. That is love.
In parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11-24), the younger son foolishly spends his share of the estate in wild living. Soon enough, he becomes broke and desperate. He surrenders all pride and runs to his father to find that his father has been waiting all along. If he had never fallen, then he would have never ran to his father and he would have never realized the love his father has for him.
The truth is simple, God loves you,and don’t let the enemy take that away from you.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
"It is what it is"
In class today, my teacher was talking about the “Chaos Theory”, which basically states that all events that occur in life are totally random and cannot be controlled. For example, we have experienced “weather” every day for thousands of years yet still to this day, we cannot predict it. We never know when it rain or when it will snow, therefore proving that every event in life is absolutely random and uncontrollable. Another example is driving. We, as humans create rules and regulations for the road in order to prevent accidents from occurring yet they still happen, which only proves the “Chaos Theory”. In every aspect of life, we try to maintain order but eventually these “random events” disassemble our humanly plans and create chaos.
This got me thinking; “Does that mean our sole purpose for living is a mere coincidence?” or “What if these so called “random events” are actually planned?” Maybe there is a plan behind all of this and we are too minuscule to understand it. Just because we are the superiors on this planet, doesn’t necessarily mean that we are the superiors of the entire universe. Sometimes, we have to realize that there are things greater than us.
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying that we should rid of all our rules because then there would be complete chaos but maybe, we should acknowledge that there is an underlying plan behind each event and we are just too incapable to understand it. After all, it is what it is.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
This got me thinking; “Does that mean our sole purpose for living is a mere coincidence?” or “What if these so called “random events” are actually planned?” Maybe there is a plan behind all of this and we are too minuscule to understand it. Just because we are the superiors on this planet, doesn’t necessarily mean that we are the superiors of the entire universe. Sometimes, we have to realize that there are things greater than us.
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying that we should rid of all our rules because then there would be complete chaos but maybe, we should acknowledge that there is an underlying plan behind each event and we are just too incapable to understand it. After all, it is what it is.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Watch this youtube video. You have to copy and paste it. The link function does not work for some reason. sorry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErMWX--UJZ4
For many of us, we "favorited" that video. And for the rest us, we "exit" out of it after the first ten seconds.Some people thought it as the "cutest thing" and others thought it was absurdity. Nonetheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I sat down and thought about it- What is it about this video that I find it to be so beautiful and heart-warming?(No, I am not an online predator.) So I watched it again but this time, I analyzed it, hoping to find the reason why people are so attracted to it. The more and more I picked it apart, the more mistakes I found. Did you know that the kid doesn't even sing? He utilizes an unique technique that can be described as a combination of singing and humming. But then it hit me, it's beautiful because it's just beautiful, simply stated. There are no scientific or logical reasons. It's just beautiful.
I view identity in the same perspective. Either you're liked or you're not. People see you and they smile, or they see you and they frown. For those that frown, they have plenty of logical reasons and facts to "back-up" why they don't like you. But for those that do smile, are there any logical reasons for why they like you? I think not. If we were to break down and analyze a human being, I guarantee you that the facts on paper say we should hate that person. That goes for me, you, and anyone else. Then why do we like people? Why do we find a beauty in them? Those are questions we can't comprehend but does that justify hatred? You choose.
For many us, or for me at least have received that letter saying "We are grateful that you have applied to our school but at this time, your application does not fit our requirements." I'm sitting there thinking, "Damn, I fucked up." But I'm slowly starting to realize that society tries to put us in categories: " The Ivy-League Success Story", "The In-State fellow", or my favorite, "The Junior-College Failure". Who are they to tell me which category I belong in? It's true that there's no way for colleges to have "open-door" policy and that failure is a part of life. I don't know how to change that but what do I know is that I am going to be singing my song, like this little kid and it's going to have a lot of mistakes and a lot of nonsense, like this little kid, but whichever college thinks my song is beautiful is the college I'm going to. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Don't sweat it, just let it.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErMWX--UJZ4
For many of us, we "favorited" that video. And for the rest us, we "exit" out of it after the first ten seconds.Some people thought it as the "cutest thing" and others thought it was absurdity. Nonetheless, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I sat down and thought about it- What is it about this video that I find it to be so beautiful and heart-warming?(No, I am not an online predator.) So I watched it again but this time, I analyzed it, hoping to find the reason why people are so attracted to it. The more and more I picked it apart, the more mistakes I found. Did you know that the kid doesn't even sing? He utilizes an unique technique that can be described as a combination of singing and humming. But then it hit me, it's beautiful because it's just beautiful, simply stated. There are no scientific or logical reasons. It's just beautiful.
I view identity in the same perspective. Either you're liked or you're not. People see you and they smile, or they see you and they frown. For those that frown, they have plenty of logical reasons and facts to "back-up" why they don't like you. But for those that do smile, are there any logical reasons for why they like you? I think not. If we were to break down and analyze a human being, I guarantee you that the facts on paper say we should hate that person. That goes for me, you, and anyone else. Then why do we like people? Why do we find a beauty in them? Those are questions we can't comprehend but does that justify hatred? You choose.
For many us, or for me at least have received that letter saying "We are grateful that you have applied to our school but at this time, your application does not fit our requirements." I'm sitting there thinking, "Damn, I fucked up." But I'm slowly starting to realize that society tries to put us in categories: " The Ivy-League Success Story", "The In-State fellow", or my favorite, "The Junior-College Failure". Who are they to tell me which category I belong in? It's true that there's no way for colleges to have "open-door" policy and that failure is a part of life. I don't know how to change that but what do I know is that I am going to be singing my song, like this little kid and it's going to have a lot of mistakes and a lot of nonsense, like this little kid, but whichever college thinks my song is beautiful is the college I'm going to. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Don't sweat it, just let it.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Pursuit of Identity.
As I’m sitting here, reminiscing on who I am, I am slowly starting to realize that my life has been built up by the world, by my parents, and by myself. How far has that gotten me? People who somewhat know me can tell you that I’m a “good” kid at heart who’s into bad things but I know I’m so much worse than that. There are many things that I keep to myself and don’t expose to the world because I’m afraid of how they will take it. No one in the world admires deceit, manipulation and corruption- all of the things that have so much to do with my life. The Eric of this world has only led me to trouble. The Eric of his parents has only led me to dishonesty. The Eric of myself has only led me to an inevitable failure. I’m with done with that. I’m done with trying to make my own life. The lord needs to break me to build me again, this time in his ways and in his love. I know I have fallen and will fall again. The judgment of the world will come. They will label me as a hypocrite, an unworthy one, and a hated one but I don’t care because I’m done with the Eric that I tried making. Jesus, break me and rebuild me as the Eric you have created.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Idk. Really, I don't know!
Hey guys, sorry for not blogging more often but I think I lost sight of what this blog was really about. I began this blog as a form of expression for me to reveal my thoughts and my feelings- basically your guide to Eric’s world. Unfortunately, I’ve lost sight of that and got so caught up in the spiritual pride and wanting this blog to be a form of preaching but I realize that I don’t want it to be like that. I’m just one of you guys and through this blog, I want to express my thoughts, my opinions, and my feelings and you guys to take it as you like. I’ll leave the preaching for the pastors.
Right now, I’m in a place in my walk where I’m getting to know who the real God is and deviating from who I thought “God” was. As I was sitting in my room, I had just got off the phone with my bible study teacher and he got me thinking. God has given me purpose in my life and called me to be someone, which in itself is powerful to me because all my life, I’ve dreamt of doing big things. But for a God who is first of all, a GOD and secondly, a God who has already scarified so much for me through his son’s crucifixion alone, he must really love me because he knew me enough to provide me with the things that make me happy. And beyond that, he’s promising to take care of all my needs, of all my insecurities, and of all my in capabilities, if I love him. At first glance, that’s not that much, but when I break it down and think about it, it’s unreal. First of all, me loving him only happens because he loves me, so basically without him none of this possible and he could easily just put me down in a pit and I wouldn’t be able to complain because he gave me life. Secondly, me loving him means I love him, which means I’d enjoy talking to him, I’d enjoy serving him, and I’d enjoy being with him. In conclusion, God is going to take care of everything, if I love him, which means it wouldn’t be a burden but an enjoyment. Can that be? Is that possible? Honestly, I know as a “Christian” I should be hollering and screaming “AMEN! “but when I break it down, I have doubts that something that great could actually exist. What do you think?
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Right now, I’m in a place in my walk where I’m getting to know who the real God is and deviating from who I thought “God” was. As I was sitting in my room, I had just got off the phone with my bible study teacher and he got me thinking. God has given me purpose in my life and called me to be someone, which in itself is powerful to me because all my life, I’ve dreamt of doing big things. But for a God who is first of all, a GOD and secondly, a God who has already scarified so much for me through his son’s crucifixion alone, he must really love me because he knew me enough to provide me with the things that make me happy. And beyond that, he’s promising to take care of all my needs, of all my insecurities, and of all my in capabilities, if I love him. At first glance, that’s not that much, but when I break it down and think about it, it’s unreal. First of all, me loving him only happens because he loves me, so basically without him none of this possible and he could easily just put me down in a pit and I wouldn’t be able to complain because he gave me life. Secondly, me loving him means I love him, which means I’d enjoy talking to him, I’d enjoy serving him, and I’d enjoy being with him. In conclusion, God is going to take care of everything, if I love him, which means it wouldn’t be a burden but an enjoyment. Can that be? Is that possible? Honestly, I know as a “Christian” I should be hollering and screaming “AMEN! “but when I break it down, I have doubts that something that great could actually exist. What do you think?
Love All,
GhanDEEP
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
How GREAT is OUR GOD?
This one goes out to a brother that I love and keep close to my heart. I don’t know if he knows that but now he does. Brother, I see a pure heart in you. Despite what other people think, and despite with you think, I see a pure heart. Sometimes, your actions may not reflect but I still see it and most importantly God still sees it. Thank you for the times you’ve been there for me. I know you’re probably thinking, “Huh? I’ve never been there for you.” But you have. You may not remember but I take the little things to and heart and I remember one time, I had a huge blister on my foot and most people would have just told me to suck it up but you were different. You took care of me and cared for me and I’ve always took that into my heart, so thanks. Brother, I don’t know why God does the things he does but he has a purpose and a reason. Believe that. Long nights will come, restless nights will come, and the tearful nights will come but fight through it. If there’s anything that you taught me, it’s to always fight and in the end, it will pay off. Brother, keep fighting and I love you. I will always love you and always pray for you.
How great is our God? No, I am not stating but I am asking it. God, death is something so painful. When my aunt passed away, I didn’t even know her but I felt the pain and I saw it in my mom. I saw what the pain did to her. I saw her grow crazy. I saw that she was suffering. Eventually through time, my mother and I learned to mend it but never could we erase it. We locked that part of our life in a closet and when it came out; we’d mourn and place it back because the pain was too much. God, you deal with this pain every day. You sent you one and only one son to die for our sins so that death alone brings much pain. As if that weren’t enough, we as children of God sin daily, meaning that not a day goes by where you aren’t reminded of your son’s death. How do you deal with that? Even though my sins remind you of your son’s death, you still choose to use me, and most importantly you still love me. How do you do that? God, my heart longs for condemnation, judge me! That’s not fair, there’s not justice in that. At least, make me earn your love, how can you just give it out so freely?
Brothers and sisters, I think I’ve limited myself to how great God is. I think he’s bigger than anything we can imagine. “All of you is more than enough than all of me” Let that ring in your ears.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
How great is our God? No, I am not stating but I am asking it. God, death is something so painful. When my aunt passed away, I didn’t even know her but I felt the pain and I saw it in my mom. I saw what the pain did to her. I saw her grow crazy. I saw that she was suffering. Eventually through time, my mother and I learned to mend it but never could we erase it. We locked that part of our life in a closet and when it came out; we’d mourn and place it back because the pain was too much. God, you deal with this pain every day. You sent you one and only one son to die for our sins so that death alone brings much pain. As if that weren’t enough, we as children of God sin daily, meaning that not a day goes by where you aren’t reminded of your son’s death. How do you deal with that? Even though my sins remind you of your son’s death, you still choose to use me, and most importantly you still love me. How do you do that? God, my heart longs for condemnation, judge me! That’s not fair, there’s not justice in that. At least, make me earn your love, how can you just give it out so freely?
Brothers and sisters, I think I’ve limited myself to how great God is. I think he’s bigger than anything we can imagine. “All of you is more than enough than all of me” Let that ring in your ears.
Love All,
GhanDEEP
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