How GREAT is OUR GOD?

This one goes out to a brother that I love and keep close to my heart. I don’t know if he knows that but now he does. Brother, I see a pure heart in you. Despite what other people think, and despite with you think, I see a pure heart. Sometimes, your actions may not reflect but I still see it and most importantly God still sees it. Thank you for the times you’ve been there for me. I know you’re probably thinking, “Huh? I’ve never been there for you.” But you have. You may not remember but I take the little things to and heart and I remember one time, I had a huge blister on my foot and most people would have just told me to suck it up but you were different. You took care of me and cared for me and I’ve always took that into my heart, so thanks. Brother, I don’t know why God does the things he does but he has a purpose and a reason. Believe that. Long nights will come, restless nights will come, and the tearful nights will come but fight through it. If there’s anything that you taught me, it’s to always fight and in the end, it will pay off. Brother, keep fighting and I love you. I will always love you and always pray for you.

How great is our God? No, I am not stating but I am asking it. God, death is something so painful. When my aunt passed away, I didn’t even know her but I felt the pain and I saw it in my mom. I saw what the pain did to her. I saw her grow crazy. I saw that she was suffering. Eventually through time, my mother and I learned to mend it but never could we erase it. We locked that part of our life in a closet and when it came out; we’d mourn and place it back because the pain was too much. God, you deal with this pain every day. You sent you one and only one son to die for our sins so that death alone brings much pain. As if that weren’t enough, we as children of God sin daily, meaning that not a day goes by where you aren’t reminded of your son’s death. How do you deal with that? Even though my sins remind you of your son’s death, you still choose to use me, and most importantly you still love me. How do you do that? God, my heart longs for condemnation, judge me! That’s not fair, there’s not justice in that. At least, make me earn your love, how can you just give it out so freely?

Brothers and sisters, I think I’ve limited myself to how great God is. I think he’s bigger than anything we can imagine. “All of you is more than enough than all of me” Let that ring in your ears.

Love All,
GhanDEEP

What I am, not who I am!

Congratulations, you guys were right. Not to assume but let’s be honest. For many of you guys, you guys were waiting and expecting me to fall and it happened. All I can say in my defense is that I’m human. Lately I’ve been feeling so lonely and misunderstood. Nobody can understand the things I am going through so as a need for attention, I fell again but by the grace of God, I was saved again. Obviously there is a lot of hypocrisy and what I did and what I do but look beyond that. It’s not about what I do it’s all about God.

This week I came upon a quote; “What we are never changes but who are never stops changing”. I began processing it word by word. The word, “what” defined from dictionary.com means; “used interrogatively to inquire as to the origin, identity, etc., of something”. Then I moved onto the word “who”. “Who” is used interrogatively to inquire someone’s identity and identity is defined by beliefs, values, morals, and actions. What am I? I am a child of God. Who am I? What I believe in, what I value, what I find to be moral, and finally my actions make me who I am but that will always change. Sometimes I will believe in the wrong things, sometimes I will value the wrong things, sometimes I will find immoral things to be moral, and sometimes I will act sinfully but despite all of that, I have to remember what I am- a child of God.

Yes, it’s true I fell this week because of my own selfish heart and desires but again, I have to remember that no matter my identity, I will always be a child of God. And I think for many of us we overlook those three words- child of God. What does that really mean?

Personally to me, being a child of God means that no matter who I am God will always love me because I am his child. This week I got this picture. I was living in the dark and it was unfulfilling because I couldn’t see anything so there was no progression in life. Then I put a little faith and a little belief in that thing called God and the entire room lit up. I fell in love with it. I loved that I was progressing in life but then I came upon a mirror. I looked at myself and I was so disgusting so I ignored God and turned off the light. I didn’t want to see myself. But being a child of God means that no matter how ugly we are in the mirror, God loves us and wants to use us. So even if we can’t stand it, he can and that’s the beauty in it.

Once you’ve received this kind of love, it’s your job as a child of God to reveal it to your brothers and sisters. That’s my prayer for all that I would not walk alone but walk in a parade as one body, one unity, and one family of Christ.

If you have fallen, remember it’s not about who are you, it’s about what you are. Fall down six times and get up on the seventh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc43_VhSJOg&feature=related

Love All,
GhanDEEP

Cry Out

Guys, I know that for a lot of you I am an inspiration and a source of hope but I am human just like you. Every day is a struggle for me. As I walk with God, I look back and I desire to go back to the life I was living but I know that God is the only way. These couple of days has been really hard on me. I feel like God is asking too much of me so I took a day off and missed FNF (Friday Night Fellowship). That may not seem like a big deal but its huge because it shows where my priorities are and it’s not with God. I know for many of you, you guys are also struggling so just pray this prayer with me. For those who aren’t struggling, I ask that you guys pray this prayer also for your brothers and sisters who are struggling.

Lord,

We come to you with broken hearts.

But first, we ask for forgiveness. For momentarily, we have doubted you, we have forgotten you, and lastly we allowed our hearts to grow hard. Please forgive us.

We are only humans and infants to you. We are struggling. We are hurting. We are in pain. We cry out for you. Please answer for I know you have the power to heal.

Without you, we are nothing. We cannot survive in this world. We long for you.

Again, we apologize for forgetting you. Please forgive us.

We kneel down and cry out that you are the Lord so please answer.

Lord, we cry out.

Amen.

Love All,
Your Brother in Christ,
GhanDEEP

Witness

With college around the corner, I’ve been thinking a lot about colleges and the thought of missionary/Christian schools came up but I rejected them because I want to be “successful”- in the worldly sense. To be honest, I’d much rather live in a million dollar home and preach then live off the streets and preach. Also, am I even called to be in ministry? But then during a devotional, God gave me a verse (Matthew 19:16-30), which talks about the rich young man and how he must give up all of his fortune and follow Jesus. I thought about it and in way, it was God telling me to give up my worldly dreams of becoming successful and just follow. I’m still not sure if I’m called to be in ministry if but he calls, I will be prepared to drop everything and go.

I was sharing this revelation to a friend at school and she seemed startled. (Shout out! You know who you are!) She began telling me her views on how I need to live with balance and how I need to consider the things of the world, being money because honestly, money does run this society. Without money, one can’t survive. That got me thinking. In fact for a second, that got me doubting. I began doubting my future with what God has planned for me. But then, I came to my roots in the lord.

No disrespect to my friend, but I realized that in life, you don’t need balance, you don’t need stability, you don’t need security. All you need is God. I’m sure for many of you guys; you have seen this change in me. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I have changed. So therefore, it makes you guys a witness to what God has done in a brother’s life but let’s be honest, how many times before have we seen this? How many times before do we see someone rise and fall right after? The hypocrisy in Christianity makes us doubt. We always hear these amazing testimonies and crazy stories where God is working but do we believe them? Honestly, it’s tough to believe because of the hypocrisy in it but when you become a witness to the light in yourself, you will believe.

For me, I’ve always had this urge to serve God but unfortunately as fast I rose, I fell down that fast so it’s hard for you guys to believe in this change. Not saying that I don’t/won’t fall, truly this time is different because now I am a witness to the light in myself. Before I witnessed God working through other people but when I was the one that he used, the witnessing was different. It was personal, it was raw, and it was real. There were no doubts. I knew that it was God. Often times, we are witnesses to what God has done in other people but if you want to grow in him, witness the light in yourself.

“God is only as big as your head.” Meaning that we as humans try to understand God but he is so amazing and so big that we can’t and our brains limit our belief in what he can do. Don’t ever think that God can’t use you because yes, you are unworthy but God loves you enough to change you and use you. God has the power to change the world in a snap of his fingers but instead, he uses us to change the world. Think about that. He can take the easy way out but he loves us so much that he’d rather use us, his creations. So brothers and sisters, witness the light in yourself and believe.

“He himself was not the light; he came only as the witness to the light.” – John 1:8

Love All,
GhanDEEP
Ps; email me at elee2023@yahoo, I would love to pray for you.

Justice One Time!!!

This Christian walk with God is the greatest thing that one can do in his/her life but just like anything else, the beginning is always the toughest part. It has barely been two weeks and I’m already struggling. Although the chains of lust and addiction have been set free through the strength of God, there are many times when I look back and that voice speaks to me. The devil is telling me that just this one time and no more after that. But I can’t because my hunger for God’s love is too great. I beg for his presence. I beg for his mercy. And ultimately I beg for his love. I don’t want to live a second without it because I know there’s nothing else in this world that is comparable.

But let’s be honest, there are many times when the devil gets the best of you. He tricks you into thinking that one time won’t hurt and then after that, he uses the guilt to bring you down. He tells you that you can’t receive God’s love because you’re a sinner. Even for me, this week, I fell again into the sin of masturbation and the temptation of addiction is right around the corner. In need of inspiration and strength, I prayed to God to remind me of his love and what is it about his love that surpasses anything that world can provide. But I felt nothing. I felt as if God had left me because I sinned but I’ve been there before. I know God enough that he wouldn’t leave me so I continued to be faithful and continued to believe. Yes, it’s tough to believe when you feel abandoned but it’s all about perspective.

Have you ever thought from God’s perspective? Maybe, he kept his distance from you on purpose. For me, I feel like when the going gets tough, it’s time to quit but this time, I stuck through it and God showed me that there are going to be times when I fall and there are going to be times when things get rough but I just have to stick through it with him, even if I don’t “feel” like he is there. I can’t tell you why God does what he does but just remember at all times God loves you. In Romans 8:38-39, it says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Yes, NOTHING will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

As a story of inspiration, read this article. There’s no doubt that this story is tragic. Can you imagine your own son trying to kill you? Believe or not, God deals with that pain every day. As children of God, we all fall and we all sin and it hurts God but just as the mother says, “I'm OK -- I'm just hurting for him” God says the same. God is ok even though ALL of his children sin but just go back to him because he’s hurting for you. He longs for you. He loves you.

If you know that already, then I challenge you to stop your life of sin. In John 5:14, Jesus says, “Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” I know it’s hard but with God, nothing is impossible. And remember the next time the Devil says, “Just this once time”, God replies “justice once time!” -The same words, just a new perspective.

Guys, remember I am no different from you. I am human!

Love All,
GhanDEEP

PS: I would love to hear your stories. Whether you've just began like me or have been in this relationship for a long time, I want to hear your stories! Email me at elee2023@yahoo or just hit me up on facebook.

A Purpose

As college approaches our doorsteps, the transition from being a teenager to being a young adult is happening faster than we would like. Although many of us are looking forward to moving out and being independent, the question of “What am I going to do for the rest of my life?” always stumps us. I know we’ve all experienced it- the restless nights, the insomnia, the frustration, the fear, the insecurities. It’s normal and it’s a part of growing up but it’s the part that nobody enjoys. For some of us, we’re so curious about our purpose in life and as for the rest of us, we fear moving on. We fear the change. We fear that we will be unworthy. And ultimately, we fear that we have no purpose in life. But for every question, for every doubt, and for every fear, there is only one answer. It is God.

For myself, I can say that this week has been the craziest and most life-changing week ever. Just like every other senior, I kept thinking about my purpose in life and which college is best for me and I realized something. I realized that I can’t go on living this life without knowing why I’m here. Then I thought back to analogy of machine and its creator. A machine will never know what its purpose is unless it asks its creator. So for once, I forgot about all the things that hindered me from reaching God and I went for it. The embarrassment of looking like a hypocrite, the fear of not making it, and the insecurity of being unworthy, all of these that meant so much to me, now meant nothing. I didn’t care anymore because my thirst for knowing my purpose was so much greater than my fears and my insecurities. And now I can happily say that I know why I’m here and it’s to serve God.

But don’t think that just because you know your purpose, life is going to be easy because it’s not. Yes, it’s true; God is real, he exists, and he is amazing. He has the ability to do anything in this world and feeling his presence is the greatest feeling in world. It’s a spiritual high that’s higher than anything drugs can give you. Trust me, I would know. But just because he is the greatest thing in world, it doesn’t mean that life will be easy. Listening to him and trying to be obedient to him and ultimately living your life for him is tough because he challenges you. He beats you up and throws you to the ground. He commands you to do ridiculous things. But he does it for your good. He does it so you can be prepared for the purpose that he has created you with. He does it because he loves you.

This week, there were times when I felt hypocrisy creep over my shoulder. In fact, a day after my revelation I had an urge to satisfy my worldly desires. In fact, a couple hours after my revelation I indulged in the sin of masturbation. Hypocrisy was right there. He was telling me that I’m not a Christian, that I’m not worthy, and that God doesn’t love me. But through believing in God, I was able to defeat it. I was able to come to my roots in the lord.

This week, there were times when I felt like God was being ridiculous. He was commanding me to do things that I’m not capable of. The thoughts came back. I began to think- I was unworthy. I began to doubt that this position God has anointed me with was unreal. But through believing in him, I was able to defeat it. I was able to come to my roots in the lord.

Just as I began, as college approaches our doorsteps, for once ask your creator what your purpose is. Forget about the hypocrisy, the fears, and the insecurities and be thirsty for your purpose. I promise if you ask, God will answer. Don’t do this for anyone else but yourself. Do this because you want to know why you’re here on this earth. Do this because you want to quench your thirst. Do this because when do, you will encounter the something greater than your worldly dreams and remember always believe. Just like control, alt, and delete restart your computer, believing and having faith are the keys to restarting your life with God.

Love All,
GhanDEEP

Change

Wow, seems like forever since I've written a blog. I'll keep this one short.

All my life, failure has covered me from the head to the defeat but now I think it's time for change.

Love All,

GhanDEEP